Smoke Up Close

by Colin Vearncombe

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1.
The Wishing 05:04
i should have married nancy it’s five years to the day she said: you face and choose me instead i turned and walked away i did not understand what happened to those plans could have happened to them all the wishing’s not enough to make a dream come true i’m going somewhere don’t know where but the wishing’s not enough wishing’s not enough, wishing’s not enough and it never was i could have been a sailor, the ocean set me free wear my trousers inside out and golden earrings in both ears i’d drift the wide pacific the harbours and the bars making friends of sickness with the dockside whores and stevedores a tattoo on my shirt, the kind that doesn’t hurt: Johnny could have had it all the wishing’s not enough to make a dream come true i’m going somewhere don’t know where but the wishing’s not enough wishing’s not enough, wishing’s not enough and it never was now i’m a stranger to the razor a stranger to myself and when i look in the mirror i see someone sitting on a shelf
2.
born like the age of a hurricane the reverend john was his favoured name one of many he loved his women and being high and they laughed in his arms as they looked in his eyes and loved him like you would too if he did like he’s telling you to ask her, ask her, ask her if you can’t remember what it’s like before you lose the sense that life is only seeds and stalks (ask her) he lived fast and loose he played long and hard played right down to the final card if he had to he said: here’s the thing it might seem insane if i love ‘em once i can do it again if you ask them, they’ll say the same the better part of john is that he never blames ask her, ask her, ask her when you can’t recall what it was like before you realised you needed more than seeds and stalks only rainy eyed women could make him sad lose everything that he never had ‘cept for choosing he’d say: honey, come you can tell me it all all of the thoughts you shouldda had before especially the ones you tried to ignore legs in the darkness and you only fall ‘cause you’re pretty but the armour’s wearing thin ask her, ask her, ask her you’ve got the time if you need to talk (to) dreamin’ it up again as more than seeds and stalks there’s no-one there because no-one cares ‘cause they learned to smile and they’re off somewhere playing happy (are you) gonna live your life somewhere else entirely than the place i see you stand before me with your mind anywhere but in your skin ‘cause it don’t fit the shape you’re in ask her, ask her, ask her the full moon’s not the time to want to talk to criticise and say your life’s just seeds and stalks no maam!!
3.
twin deceiver unbeliever here i am got no horizons, stuck with me eyes on where i am i never wanted to like the others do never want to think like you want me to i do anything i want to don’t ask why when the sun don’t shine do anything i have to and i don’t mind if i never get around to wynona i’ll wait for wynona dying for the quarter floating or sinking don’t get round to thinking which it is sit like a beggar at an eighty gig Sega and ride the whizz you never have to live like the others do you never have to look like they want you to i do anything i want to ‘cause i don’t mind if the sun don’t shine do anything i have to and don’t ask why would you want to change the wine in to water (and) lie in the water dying for the quarter rocking and riding both running and hiding here i am thee could go thine way ‘cause all of it’s my way if i can an angel in my head that i can’t ignore i never have to ask what it’s in there for i’ll do anything i have to i don’t mind if the sun won’t shine do anything i want to if i don’t fly i may never get around to wynona i play for wynona dying for the quarter
4.
memory is such a fickle friend it can hold on to the pain of yesterday and this place has no pity it’s not hard to hate this city til you think you’ve found your own place in the sun you are haunted by the spaces that she leaves make you want to look the other way she’s the answer to the question you didn’t want to ask the one you’ve been avoiding everyday it doesn’t matter now it didn’t matter then the only thing we choose is how to feel when we’re losing and once the page is read it’s better thrown away were you stopped by the dancing, the loving standing up? stopped by the laughing in the face of giving up? stopped by the past when the future looked so good? would you dance on your own grave if you thought you could? was she satisfied to simply walk away to drop you from her life without a trace? was she seeing another as you looked into her eyes or only the reflection of her face? you’ve been carrying that torch for far too long to grieve beside a hole that isn’t there for the first time in your life be as brave as you are scared and live it like you’ve lived it once before live it like you’ve lived it once before it doesn’t matter now it didn’t matter then the only thing we choose is how to feel when we’re loosing and once the page is read it’s better thrown away
5.
who pulled me clear and free from the wreckage as i drew near to spinning in freefall out of view? who laughs through the tears and stands in the wreckage scoring fear and makes the good times seem overdue who if not you tell me who if not you? who’s like a dream that moves into places stretched between the centuries sleeping when they’re gone and never seems tired still facing down headlights while you’re wired out running and smiling in the rain? the first time you let someone else come inside the first time you get to feel really alive like the first thing created from a life underrated’s the possible high from impossible why’s throw your hat in the air like you saw on tv a prisoner released, nineteen fifty three the struggle’s unfinished the struggle goes on the struggle is everything why not have it as fun?
6.
The Bride 04:13
the air was static charged you could hardly breathe the night she reappeared as if from the sea her hair hanging like darkness a car pulled into view more than two metres wide the windows tinted blue, i strained to see inside to trace her silhouette the lines that mark her passing by don’t say that i was only dreaming i’d know her anywhere, i know what she can do a drop of evil in the sweetest kiss call her the bride of the abyss (and now) you sit and stare so gone you’d watch your thumb on fire each night to lie awake your mouth turned desert dry and count the distant sirens as they mark her coming closer and no one can comfort you you know she’s come for you to join her in her vicious games there’s no escape from her it always ends the same don’t say that i was only dreaming i’d know her anywhere, i know what she can do a drop of evil in the sweetest kiss call her the bride of the abyss
7.
Come to Me 03:53
am i the only one strung out and smiling at your shadow? and when i dream it’s always you, in black seams and touching up your lipstick oh and it’s alright, i’m free i can stay all night (with you) i’m hungry i can’t sleep: i’d ride the breath out of an angel no cure and no relief until you’re here, a part of my reality and it’s all right, i’ll say please come and stay all night i may be much that is wrong with you but right now i want you with my heart and my soul and i would wait but it takes so long, so long come to me, come to me my star my saving grace you hit the stupid bit inside of me and unsure, i smile in case i change my mind and then i’d have to lie to you that it’s all right with me cause i want you all night with me, me so come to me, come to me there may be much that is wrong with me i’m outsize and rusted in my heart and my soul but i’m here and waiting but it takes too long much too long
8.
we could sit in here and drink right through the night hear the tales of drugs and alcohol and fights and where the stories go around the car park in the snow but it’s a black and white world to live inside marx was wrong and groucho’s gone (why not) give chance a piece of what’s going on the little white lies and the long white lines only hide the cracks in what we’re standing on we are born and then we become what we are strung between the lines of a guitar and many seem to want what none would surely choose again; the graves of rockers you don’t have to suffer like you do this is the strangest place you’ve been sat in the back of a stretch limousine you drink to ishmael the one that’s left alive a drink is an article of faith to someone with more than one face to show to the world when you cannot sneak it past and you want to have it all, ahead of time there written on each granite slab of stone above the bleaching, brittle bones the numbers don’t add up, there’s none would surely choose again the graves of rockers few things hurt more than being ignored face up in the bath a stupid smile upon your face you only forget why you’d done it all there written on each slab of frozen stone above the bleaching, brittle bones the numbers don’t add up there’s none would surely choose again the graves of rockers
9.
get to believe the signs; there’s you by the roadside and breaking into a smile you light up the black top and white lines with the skyline for miles and the road rushing by and a new day dawning i found a new way wrapped up with your name on it all my life i’ve waited on someone i could not depend on and i found myself saying i love you river ride women get me hot everything changes now you’re here on the inside and i get to believe somehow i learn to deserve it and with your back to the door and my foot to the floor and the sunlight pouring in through the windscreen wrapped up with your name on it. all my life i’ve waited on someone i could not depend on and i found myself saying i love you river ride women get me hot as i’m driving in the rain start thinking i am someone else the radio starts playing i give up wishing i was someone else and with the skyline for miles and the road rushing by and a new day forming i found a new way, wrapped up with your name on it all my life i’ve waited on someone i could not depend on and i found myself saying i love you river ride women get me lost
10.
getting older wearing loose fit no more dreaming of the prize you give it all up the only thing still growing is your size defined by glaciers and groaning like the icepack after dark when you were younger believing lies the things you said were always true ‘cause you were younger you take up the slack; the sorry lines they feed to you when you’re going nowhere you know that any road will take you there i will lay you down to rest, lay me down to sleep to let my soul and spirit soar (‘cause) it knows a hundred places it can’t hide if each of us is living different lies confined to wanting clinging onto things you know you should not have becoming smaller shrinking down inside the guts you did not have confined to wishing wishing on a star that died a million years ago
11.
restless in the pale moonlight, the scratching of the stars like the growing pains of tv heroes that fade away like scars; so slow to a pindrop speck of cobalt blue from a rainbow, just like from a rainbow headstones as far as the eye can see let the heartache begin the spiral take you down again there’s space to grow, there’s room to breathe it only hurts you while you fall and then it doesn’t hurt at all it only hurts you as you drop and then it stops but it’s cold here, as cold as sitting in the dark sea of tranquillity so high and dry, dreaming of my having a good time laughter in the street below the sweep of passing cars late night carousers spilling out on to the streets from late night drinking bars, oh yes and they all say will you marry me? ‘cause i need a rainbow, yes i need a rainbow headstones as far as the eye can see
12.
Beneath the radar The sun, moon and stars I am breathing… Waiting not only to inhale I am a form forgotten The reaching out and touching, The duetting To harmonise with stars as I am breathing, Seeking not only to inhale Breathing, I will scorch the heaving clamour with a stillness Of breathing Driven by the beauty or its lacking There’s no going back here Beneath the radar I am stronger than I seemed As I lay reeling Waiting not only to exhale…….. One wild guess Breathing, I will scorch the heaving clamour with the stillness Of breathing Driven by the beauty or its lacking No going back here Beneath the radar
13.
the old cliché why to begin? include me out of any mess you’re stepping in but if he swings you need to know la ronde can have you slipping further down than you have ever known you and i, wonderful life it already hasn’t happened yet and here’s the why on your back or on your knees it seems to make no difference to what you think you need tell me something i already don’t know tell the reasons why you have to sneak around and go with him i know when i was him i wanted more than cliché you and i and me and him there’s something that this whole wide world can’t come between to sit in hell and count the stars as they flicker dimly and then one by one go out tell me something that you don’t want me to know a secret burns away to leave an acid hole that’s filled by him i know when i was him i wanted more than chocolate sex and amyl high and supernova suicides you only laugh to make him cry a fantasy of how you’re right to strip your clothes and pawn the crown everyone’s a winner when you’re on the way down enjoy before you lie and sleep forever
14.
Joni 03:21
don’t look behind ‘cause what’s in store is what you spent your whole damn stupid life just trying to ignore another dream you’re getting head and nothing changes ‘til you’re dead when only a fool or a coward trying to grow a dick would turn from joni and walk right out of here turn your head, decline the call but only a fool would turn from joni losing track still keeping score does this remind you of someone you thought you knew before her no longer lonely, just alone the lights are out and no-one’s home only a fool or a coward trying to grow a dick would turn from joni and walk the other way you only laugh to hide the sound the tears of a clown the words of joni only a fool, the kind defines the crime who could fall and keep on falling but stalls and keeps on stalling. Only a fool the kind of guy could turn from joni
15.
she brings the dead space to life she moves into the darkness and it comes alight and she takes my hand and guides me to the distant places i never knew were close at hand she creates crimson from grey she hot wired my heart and drove it away and it hurts as much to say as own the only time i’ve ever known i’m alive’s when someone hurts me! she lights my fire and builds it higher she lights my fire, then i know why she loves my life she can what she will when she tries she drills the spectres that walk the night ‘cause i too have been so very green a little in love with death as seen in stupid movies but she lights my fire and builds it higher she lights my fire and i know why; she loves my life and then the chill falls away feel like i’m sprawled out in the sun on my back she’s writing: ‘welcome, welcome to the fun’ she lights my fire and builds it higher she lights my fire and i know why:- SHE LOVES MY LIFE
16.
Showered with offers at twenty one By the age of twenty-two she is nearly long gone They keep calling her the heir to the rock and roll crown Man it weighed so heavy it was dragging her down Wants it ‘til she’s got it then tries to run away A hunger so deep it can never go away No way to fill it, to turn down the dial below the limit If she could only stop from crying She says I love him, he’s the kind to be clever with I’m ready, maybe soon make it better She’s wanted him for so long she’s forgotten how it goes This is the history of rock and roll All fogged up can’t even see to drive A ’44 magnum on the passenger side Pops a tablet for the cramping but it just won’t fade She starts hearing things he used to say; To love you is to surrender, it’s the need to lose To want to step inside a kind of raging feud Between the sea and the sky, my head and my heart And choosing which of them is tearing me apart He says I want her, want her so much I can taste her When I’m sleepi she’s the scale of the ether How much is it worth if it is free I just don’t know This is the history of rock and roll Haunted by images, the planet’s turning The sun going down on Mississippi burning Only darkness has the power to make her open up her heart And play it to the world as though they were only tears For crying We want the future Maybe soon maybe never When we’re ready…but we act like we hate it How much is it worth if it is free we’ll never know This is the history of rock and roll
17.
she met him nearing easter with the flowers coming through and the rains start to recede the sky to turning blue she met him as a lover the finder to the spark he met her as the latest lonely question mark and so he wonders how he get here and he wonders what he’ll be he calls it fate, he calls it destiny take any road and it ends the same not strong enough to choose her he is quinn’s old flame he loved her in the abstract each of her body parts he loves her still: at night he draws a mental chart (and) puts the parts together and smiling to himself he draws her to him, he draws her to him he wished he was handsome or at least well read that his name was rock or rocky t-bone or red he calls it what he wants gives it a thousand names a born again loser he’s quinn’s old flame he entertains a dream of putting down some roots in every place of business that he’s passing through he can’t forget what they could have been she liked him as he came quinn’s old flame
18.
Child's Play 03:47
we walked on out to the tip of the sound and we rolled in the surf like seals there and she sang songs to the dolphins and whales that move through the deep waters we ran and laughed to tumble over each other sprawl in the long grass and you kissed my hand and I wept like I was in heaven Tremayne was born on the fifth of July and she grew like a wild flower and plays with love as a dangerous thing runs deep as the still water she runs, she laughs, she twists inside of herself to land where she ought to ‘cause from on your back you can see straight up into heaven and it’s child’s play New York in fall and Paris in the springtime all the different places we can go revolving like the backdrop to the show “if i couldn’t live without you” to be standing in the places that i didn’t wanna go looking at the faces i never thought i’d know the clearing of the lines for her to step into thinking of the things that it might mean to you you can walk on out to the tip of the sound
19.
Summer Rain 04:16
did i? yes i thought your name, your body line, your auburn mane a forgotten half remembered game that’s lost in time I loved you once i love you still though it seems we both have had our fill of things that linger on until we can’t look away this place has everything you want but nothing that you need and it’s hard to leave what we can’t reveal they already see we can’t see ourselves from the outside in looking back at where we’ve been and grinning at the mess we’re in when we could cry had you forgotten i’m a man, a rebel on his knees smart enough to love you but afraid of what it means? enough to want to hide all the things he had inside where none can see what we don’t show they already see good time boys and print through girls thin cotton dresses clinging, dancing and singing in the summer rain come on in the water’s fine reminds me of the time i skinny dipped with Madeline and didn’t take her home that night and it’s not that i don’t care no more just as we live our values change one more thing to re-arrange until it fits
20.
Afterlife 02:56
i came as soon as i could didn’t know when but i knew that you would you weren’t born in disguise i’ll only go if i must got an itch can’t wish it away pick me up like a Warratah wave it’s not the fear when i stop but what i’m making it mean i won’t wait i do what i have to do to make it right why be him be anyone but yourself and die inside in an afterlife who am i when i look at your face who are you when i look in your eyes only seeing myself what i’m making it mean? it’s there in every face: who am i, how long have i got? do you think about me like i think about you? i won’t wait i do what i have to do to make it right why be him be anyone but yourself and die inside in an afterlife
21.
a good friend to me said love can be the thing that keeps you close to love but still not loving it holds you to the things you say when all you want is to run away and hide and there’s a place i go a bit part in the monkey show the lover in the leading role the villain singing dark and low that she knows, she knows she knows what it’s like to be the hurting kind and standing in the bitter wind feel it like a blade drawn across my skin and then she says: why don’t i guess, what could you want that i have left? another soundtrack fades to blue can’t fade the real thing, face the truth the lover in a monkey suit with singing eyes don’t dim but shine i know, i know, i know what it’s like to be the hurting kind and standing in the wings you don’t see everything a king without a throne, a king without a crown a king without a queen to throw his arms around a king without a place a queen without a face but the hurting kind and half hidden by the shadows i move before the rolling tide
22.
this is a kind of surrender: to stop then carry on you walk in to an empty space and wonder why, you wonder how what’s going on? this is your story of where you wanted to the breaking down and breaking through i know that you you think of yourself as someone who’s lost who’s sitting on the fence where you can’t carry on but there’s nothing really wrong trouble’s forgotten you a picture speaks a thousand words each and every one of them’s a lie just look out on a sunny day every frame of your existence is the question why .you’ve the puncture marks of living and a cold wind blowing through the feeling so scared but still wanting to ‘cause i know that you you think of yourself as someone far gone who’s sat up on a shelf and you can’t carry on but there’s nothing really wrong trouble’s forgotten you and the only thing to say is that you don’t know what you did but you did it anyway when i know that you you thought of yourself as someone who’d lost, was sitting on the fence like you can’t carry on but you can’t carry on ‘cause there’s nothing really wrong trouble’s forgotten you
23.
Thumbnail 03:33
i have a sister i haven’t always known she tells me things i haven’t seen the kinds of vision appear in widescreen she says i am the dream where the buskers play sibelius and dance while singing shakespeare agonising over eliot when it’s yeats they wanna hear who is your friend that looks so strange at me who is your friend that looks so strange? could get to feeling i am afraid of her but what’s the use to me in being afraid big as a thumbnail as small as the moon within your eyeline paint your thumbnail, chew on the moon ignore the skyline til the buskers play sibelius and dance while singing shakespeare agonising over eliot when it’s yeats they wanna hear who is your friend that looks so strange at me who is your friend that looks so strange i could get to feeling i’m afraid of her but what’s the use to me in being afraid?
24.
Waitin' 03:38
the night sits on us like a great black bird and somewhere out there the big cats are prowling and the women are out on the street ripe and sleek in dresses like gauze are you listening? we are ready, we are waiting waiting for you to come there’s an old crone sitting in a rocking chair nursing a colt ’45 as she teases up her hair and her mouth’s like a door for the dead lipstick red and she grins without cause we’re not unhappy, we’re still unsure we’re moving moving out today moving on to a different place waiting for you to come you can see ten miles along highway nine and you know you don’t wanna be a sad old guy like a mirror held up to turbulent times knowing your only crime was you were too scared to fight we’re not unhappy, we’re still unsure we’re moving moving out today moving on to a different place waiting for you to come
25.
Murphy 05:05
the first time i saw murphy she was comin’ in to land flapping out her arms and grabbing at my hand to swear allegiance ‘cause she’s the kind that can get you to feeling like you never have wrong, wrong, wrong there is nothing going on don’t get me wrong, wrong before i’m gone i’ve been holding on too long the morning after of a different time layiing claims to what could not be mine she’s everything i once thought of as bad but she had me wanting things i’ve never had! the second time i saw her ends with us both bathed in sweat the act of love an act of mutual contempt so she could find her way back when she’s scared more afraid of what she’s forgotten than of what she’s learned wrong, wrong, wrong there is nothing going on don’t get me wrong, wrong before i’m gone i’ve been holding on too long she has a humour entirely her own makes people edgy; think they’ve never know what it’s like to laugh and never care if they’re the only one that’s laughing there lost for a reason you’re lost for words inside a victory you cannot declare she says: shut up and listen ‘cause here’s the thing i was allergic to my wedding ring
26.
Needle Time 04:21
there’s no-one i need less in this whole word than you but you were what i had so i guess i want you back someone to chide me when i am old someone to lay beside me when i’m tired and cold ‘cause there’s a place inside of me that you can’t reach a place where i am singing in my dreams a little piece inside of me that you can’t change there’s nowhere left to run and no one left to blame you bought me on the evening america went to war No one recognises me in pictures from before’ cause you’ve changed everything a camera could see kept changing everything but what you mean to me cause there’s a place inside of me that you can’t reach a place where i am singing in my dreams a little piece inside of me that you can’t change there’s nowhere left to run and no one left to blame the things that used to make you laugh now drive you to distraction the little things that made me smile have lost all their attraction but i’ll put you behind me like the way i used to feel ‘cause everything you bought does not include what you can’t steal cause there’s a place inside of me that you can’t reach a place where i am singing in my dreams a little piece inside of me that you can’t change there’s nowhere left to run and no one left to blame
27.
i’d call it through, i’ve seen the signs won’t waste my time any longer you made your choice so go let it loose go play and lose with the rainbows where i don’t know who i see when i look at you now did you lie down for him did you give yourself to him and dip your stupid toes in stormy waters? you look lonely and cold, a thousand years old and your eyes don’t show what you have but what you’ve sold i don’t need to know but i want to know let it all come on let the bad times roll i don’t know who i see when i look at you now did you lie down for him did you give yourself to him and dip your stupid toes in stormy waters? i’ve told you once, i’ve told you twice the hundred thousand times that i have tried i’m doing fine, i’ll be alright (i) don’t waste my time chasing rainbows ‘cause i don’t know who i see when i look at you now did you lie down for him did you give yourself to him set yourself adrift on stormy waters? you crossed the bridge of sighs as he spattered your insides to sink up to your neck in stormy waters
28.
The Sunshine 03:49
you put the sunshine back in my life and i never thought i’d see that day again the sunshine’s back in my dreams from head to toe in indigo blue jeans and it listens to my heartbeat and it knows what i am thinking; i want the sunshine back in my life a canopy of colours in 3D i play the sunshine reels in my head and i run them ‘til they hook up with my dreams a backdrop to the singing and the wishing i was singing singing to the children and the children to the dolphins you wear the sunshine smile in your eyes a waterfall cascading in your hair the sunshine splashed on your skin and i’m lost inside the spaces that we share but not drowning i am waving and what i want’s to keep on saying; i’ve got the sunshine back in my life i never thought i’d feel this way again the sunshine’s back in my dreams a movie in a stack of broken reels and you’re playing to my heartbeat are you thinking what i’m thinking? children in the sunshine and we share it in the singing the sunshine’s back in my life
29.
he was once bitten twice shy; he was that type of guy an honest man no doubt with much to be honest about but he laughed as he danced as if turned inside out he says: the injured have their reasons not to hear the word no they skirt the action and the has beens the sour, sour pussies and the glamour queens they say: i’ll find you baby, i’ll find you even when i cant’ face to turn the lights down low and dream ‘cause that was yesterday that was someone who lived inside yesterday as if yesterday was the only place he knew she was ten times shy she’d known the kind of guy who could undress her slowly only with their eyes and wish the million miles between their places she said: i like your eyes they’re like headlights in the rain, what are you doing tonight, won’t you tell me your name? we could go down to the piazza of tiny feet amid the cheap perfume and the cigarette smoke and the vials and pills for no specific ills but without them you feel like you’d choke on the blackness and waste of your heart but that was yesterday that was someone who lived inside yesterday like yesterday’s the only place he knew that was yesterday when i was someone who lived in yesterday as if yesterday’s the only thing he knew i wanted yesterday like i wanted to live inside yesterday it was the only place reminded me of you we wanted yesterday we still want yesterday but now somehow we want tomorrow too
30.
she’s the kind could clean you out strip your clothes , blow up your house stand you naked in the rubble making promises with your fingers crossed counting the cost of the things you’ve lost count the cost of things unfound blond trouble she’s like the driving force of fate a mirror thrown from a speeding train an elastic rope that’s drawn between two points her voice says: would i lie to you? the eyes say something different she says: i think i love you but it’s not the thought that counts roll a six ‘cause you know you can stare down the barrel of a loaded gun move to a place that seems remote she’s the kind could clean you out strip your clothes blow up your house stand you naked in the rubble blond trouble

credits

released November 1, 2002

Produced and mixed by Colin Vearncombe and Martin Green

All tracks written by Colin Vearncombe
except
‘Come To Me’ written by
Colin Vearncombe and William Topley
and
‘Trouble Forgot You’ written by
ColinVearncombe and Graham Henderson

Recorded by Martin Green, mastered by Pete Brown
P&C 2002 Nero Schwarz Limited

All tracks published by Hornall Brothers (Music) Ltd. Except ‘Come To Me’
published by Hornall Brothers (Music) Ltd./BMG and ‘Trouble Forgot You’
published by Hornall Brothers (Music) Ltd./copyright control

license

all rights reserved

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about

Black

Colin Vearncombe, otherwise known as Black, was born in Liverpool on 26 May 1962.

He had three top- ten records across Europe and sold over two million albums before leaving the mainstream and going independent. He released a string of albums as Black and under his own name on his own label; Nero Schwarz.

He died in a motor accident in January 2016. His legacy lives on in the Love, Colin project.
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